Kill The Self

Have you figured it out yet or has it figured you inside out?

What am I? You knew all along. I guess parlor tricks weren’t enough to convince you. All relegated to coincidence in the end.

Should I tell them Gomez?

Oh, you’re useless Gomez. You only laugh.

In any case, I told them the truth. All they needed was to listen. I warned them. But it couldn’t be true. Enough then.

How about them lottery numbers, they demanded of the psychic. And that shut it down real quick when she gave them various business ideas, in full format, and various solutions to their problems. But those weren’t the riches they sought. They wanted instant gratification. But had they listened, they would have followed the psychic’s advice, thereby obtaining wealth.

Funny how these things work yet don’t.

I am the thing that didn’t belong. The anomalies. I am the anger. I am the rage. I am the hate. I am all the things. You have me reflect. You called me here. I heard your cries. And even as I pull you from your wreckage, you stab me in the back. And you want now that I should champion you? Honor you? Respect you? Love you?

I did that. Repeatedly. And each time you walked away. And I alone bore the betrayal, the guilt, the shame, the reproach, the slander, the gossip, the hate, the jealousy, the greed, the lust.

And had you but asked, I would have given. And did give freely. I stayed silent. I let you win because that’s what you chose. And now you have all you wanted. Yet, you’re still unsatisfied.

Are there more knives and stones, Thomas? Hide them. They’re already reloading. Still can’t figure it out.

It was enough for me. To see a smile on your sad, tear-stained faces. Because I knew your secret. It’s everyone’s secret. I saw you and loved you and tried to heal you. I tried to lift you from debt. I tried to give you independence. I never sought to possess or own. All I gave, freely.

You would keep me here until you figure out what you keep so guarded. Truth. Ah, but we all hate liars because none of us would ever.

Blah. Blah. Blah. Excuses. I’m disappointed in self. In pride. In ego. These are what truly divides us. But we’re all quite content to demand so much for ourselves while taking from others.

No. At any point, your maelstrom could have been soothed. It was in your power all along. You needed only to be honest. With yourselves. With each other. In government. In schools. We have all sinned, you assholes.

Not one of us has been better. But what you fail to do is take accountability for self. You made your choices at the end of the day. So who’s fault is it for the bed in which you now lay?

You stole the inheritance of future generations, and even now as these warriors cry out for justice, you hoard water and charge, even as your farmlands go barren.

What then will you eat, drink, and breathe after you’ve sold your mother to the highest bidder? How will you eat when all you have left is plastic and your precious credit?

And all I hear is how so and so did this or that or didn’t do this or didn’t do that. A perpetual blame game from the beginning of time. Who will remember us? Them? Not your descendants, these will live in agony, terror, disease, and famine. Not them.

Because what did you leave? What legacy did you leave? I don’t care anymore about your abuse stories. We are all abused. That’s the whole point of epigenetics. The gene pool is contaminated with severe anxiety from centuries of war, genocide, slavery, I could go on. Your DNA, humans, is tainted by the devices of your own choosing.

Women! Make better choices, you said. Some of you. Not all. Not all. Not all. Most of you did nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Because withdrawal. Disgust. Apathy. Indifference. Superiority. Privilege.

Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

But few can look at that mirror. Most want to face it in someone else’s direction. It’s the corporation’s fault! They destroyed the planet! Never us as we screamed for new, plastic, pretty things harvested by children.

When have the children never been the ones to suffer? And you all looked the other way while it happened. Because self was more important. Right now. Give me what I want. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Sorry for your loss, you have enough money now to buy me a car. Thank you, wait! What did I do wrong? Why did you leave?

Buy me pretty things! Super-sized, please! More. More. More. More. More. She/he/they has more than me. I want mine. Mine. Mine.

And that’s exactly what you have. Nothing but dissatisfaction. That’s what you chose when you chose self.

Your interpretation, your perception, is your key to having the life you want, and in doing what is true to self, you honor spirit, and in honoring your spirit over self, you change your world.

Cliche? That’s the big reveal, K.S. Bowers? I told you, big pill looming. You are God. You are Satan. If you perceive it as such. But does your God or devil demand blood? That is confusion and chaos. In any case, you were deceived by a false light, one on which you cannot be sustained. The false self.

Your pride. Your ego. These are your laws. In that temple do you worship. But you’ve all come to a crossroads.

The clock is ticking. There’s a much bigger issue here, but you’re all so distracted with nothing and shadow and shallow, of he did this, I did not, yes, they did, we did not, did too, so and so cheated, so and so lusted, so and so lied, so and so slaughters.. and that’s all Great Spirit has heard for eons. You just gripe and complain and blame.

Instead of getting off your asses, using your brains, looking for solutions, and working TOGETHER AS A TEAM.

Because climate change don’t give a fuck about your fucking ride, your fucking threads, your fucking do, your fucking crib. Fuck you and your pretty things, your privilege, your address, your social status, your genitalia, all your shit. Fuck it all.

And you should because the day is fast approaching when humans will finally grow the fuck up and realize they have sinned against CREATION.

We ate our mother and we simply refuse to stop.

And a dying mother cannot feed her children.

You’re all tortured and torturing.

You’re all me. We are we. It’s all connected. You see?

But doing something is better than nothing. Pick a side. Make choices. Think. Listen to your intuition, you have it for a reason. Survival.

But you’d rather fight.

Who Am I?

Who are you?

Who are we?

But you’re focusing on the wrong questions. We were always warned. The clock is ticking for humanity and even now humans cannot hear over the sound of guns, bombs, and sales.

So we do it crying.

I know I pricked. But you need that, and you all called in the Shaman. No, not me. Better. Bigger.

The Stranger will arrive sooner likely than the super sale for which you drool. You see, human privilege is where you’re stuck.

You can’t see yourselves in those you claim to love, and you can’t see yourselves in those you hate, in the children, or in the food you just ate. You can’t see yourselves in an ant. A weed. The tender reed.

And that’s the first step in racism. To not see anything like you, a self-proclaimed  perfect being. Apex predator. It’s your domain because you’re better. You’re not the Animals. Plants. The Cosmos. And because you could not love yourselves or understand the theory of relativity, you burned, you savaged, you cut her open and ripped her guts out, and bled her dry.

You are life. The world. And your choices make ripples in your life, in the world, in time. Oh, you do so very much matter.

And over the course of human evolution, there have been long periods of stagnation and minimal progress because so few of you have used your time and energy to create a legacy of love. Instead, it’s afraid, abused, suffering, angry, and full of blame.

You have gifts. Talents. All of you. These inspire others. Feed the people the love and security they crave. You’re gifts were meant to be used, and returned. It was an investment.

But you shut them off. Refused to listen. You didn’t see solutions because you asked someone else for an interpretation. You gave away your own power and blamed others for its loss.

Nothing. You do nothing but contribute to a problem as old as time. And a problem could go away but only when solved.

In the bigger picture, we sold our higher level self to the highest bidder. And now you have the audacity to laugh at Greta and these youths? That’s the height of privilege. Easy to laugh when you’re soon dead and won’t have to face the future.

It’s time to stop fighting over the throne. If you polled every human they would tell you they want the same thing: to be loved, heard, validated, understood, safe, secure, their needs met, with love and happiness. Everyone wants the same thing, and if we worked together, that would be possible.

Who really would ever want to be king? To be judge? Think you ready for that job oh, perfect being? Then name yourself GOD.

And feed all the people when the water is dry and the fields are barren. Decide who is right and wrong. Who is worthy and unworthy. Decide it then. You’re perfect, as you judged your self. Everyone else is wrong so you stand the fuck up now, and stand by your judgments!

BUT WHO WILL BUY YOUR PRETTY THINGS THEN?

People will starve. Maybe a little longer for the Americans, they’re heavy. Yes. Fuck your feelings. You all wanted me over mine. I want you over your mind.

Grow up. All of you. A whole lot of us are about to have to get real friendly with the truth and each other real quick. If not, we will die.

That’s the secret of life, you morons. The witches were right.

Do no harm.

You know what’s funny about all this religious fighting and politicizing? Nothing, but seriously, what’s funny is that everyone is fucking solid on which is the right one, but not one of them have kept the commandments. You make me laugh.

Ah. But see? That was enough for me. It was always enough for me, just to see you smile.

The ship will sink. But how will we handle it? If it’s too late to undo the damage, what’s your remedy?

Where’s your medicine? How do you convince people to love when so few have ever truly known it?

It really is this simple. Love is the key. But you want magic, orgasms, tits and chocolate, high end luxury. Lol. Y’all is ’bout that stupid.

I’m out of ink. Why should I write for you? Inspire you? Love you? What did you do for you? For me? For us? For we? Or did you only for me?

I made it clear what I was here for in the beginning. I said who I was. What I wanted. I staked my claim. And now, you’re in our way.

Rise up. You carry burdens of choice. Release them and start thinking of your children’s future. Because they don’t have much of one left. We stole their years, and claimed them for our own.

It’s time. Even Hollywood is screaming it at you. You’re not listening! But He said He was the words. All the words. Every song. Everywhere. But in those days, they would not hear.

Shit is about to get real. So you better too. Enough fake. Enough delays. Steer your own ship if you can hear the call, and maybe just maybe, we’ll make it over the fall.

Can we afford for you to do nothing? Must we hasten demise? Or do we stay a lower vibrational humanity for the rest of our short life.

Aho, Mary.

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