Tips For MRAs On How To Stay Safe During Rape Rallies

No group is more understanding of Daryush “Roosh V” Valizadeh’s, (founder of MRA group, Return of Kings), current predicament than women all over the world. Roosh V recently planned meetings worldwide in a bid to legalize rape on private property so that “less women would be raped.” According to his mission statement, the events were planned so that men could meet other men with similar values. The primary focus was to establish friendly relations with other men present. (But not too friendly! No gays allowed!!!)

There’s nothing worse than having to fight for equal rights and have to demand society treat you like a human being. Women understand, Roosh. And in that spirit of understanding, here are some helpful tips on how to stay safe.  Cosmo posted this article on tips women are routinely given for rape prevention, and I realized it didn’t fit your particular needs so I personalized it just for you! I hate to think of someone going out at night and not feeling safe. Feminists don’t just care about women. We care about men too. Stay safe!

1. Know your surroundings. 

Whether you’re walking alone at night or meeting fellow MRAs to teach them how to be pick-up artists, make personal safety your number one concern. Always know the safest route back to your mom’s basement. Stay in well-lit areas. Carry a fully charged cell phone and stay with a group of people. Most victims are attacked when they’re alone or on private property. Also, be aware of every location’s weak points. Like all those oceans in Australia, every location has a weak point where scum can get in and hurt you.

2. Trust your instincts.

If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable, it’s probably best to cancel that rape rally and just stay in your mom’s basement. Don’t worry about what others will say about you or how the media outlets and bloggers will call you out later. After all, if your enemies are speaking your name then you still have power. All hail the V!

3. Use your cell as a safety device.

Keep it charged because you never know when you may find yourself in a dangerous situation. For example, you’ve left your mom’s basement to attend a rape rally and female boxers are giving you a bad vibe. Text a fellow MRA and ask them to pick you up. Or call your mom.

4. Be mysterious online.

When leaving for friendly (but not too friendly 😉 ) encounters with male friends at rape rallies, don’t announce your location on the internet or post personal details that others can use to track your movements. If you advertise yourself online, people might just say you were asking for it.

5. Don’t totally let your guard down even if someone’s earned your trust.

Don’t leave the bar with anyone, not even a fellow MRA. Studies show that victims usually know their attackers. You never know when a fellow MRA might get rapey so don’t assume your friends will have your back.

6. Tell a lie. 

If you find yourself at risk -say the world condemns you for wanting to legalize rape- just tell everyone that it was satire.

7. Choose your drink carefully.

Rapey bastards like to spike drinks with date rape drugs or private property sex sleep agents. If you plan 165 meetings with like-minded men who share your values, make sure your drink doesn’t get spiked. Better yet, don’t drink alcohol at all. Ever. Also, understand that it’s your own fault if something bad happens, and know that if you attend a rape rally and someone kicks your ass, you will be accused of asking for it.  So stay safe and don’t drink. And never ever, ever, ever drink on private property! Like, ever. Because people who want to kick your ass could argue that it should be legal on private property. Even in your mom’s basement! They might say, being able to kick an asshole’s ass on private property should be legal as this will prevent more assholes from being attacked and make the world safer.

8. Watch how you dress.

If you’re going to lead a men’s rights movement  or teach men how to be pick-up artists or advocate for legal rape, don’t dress in a pit-stained t-shirt and shorts like some stereotyped emasculated male hiding behind a keyboard in his mother’s basement. Again, people might say you were asking for it.

9. Don’t provoke.

Women are constantly told not to piss off a man so he won’t beat her or not to dress immodestly so she won’t be raped. Likewise, women everywhere would probably issue the same safety tip to any MRA. (We’re thoughtful like that). Don’t go around saying shit like legal rape if you don’t want people to kick your ass. It’s provoking, and you are in charge of your safety.

10. If you still find that you’re a victim know that it’s probably your fault.

You can try to report it to the police. Make sure to ask for a male officer who shares your values since a female officer may be unwilling to enter your mother’s private property but not because she’s afraid of you. It’s probably because you’ve spent so much time on the internet canceling events out of concern for your safety that you didn’t have time to shower. If you have become a victim, it’s best to review the list above and try to figure out what you did wrong. Ty to act better in the future so your safety won’t be compromised again.

I hope this helps. It’s sucks to have to fear for your safety. Oh, I almost forgot, there’s a certain way to carry your keys (or your mom’s keys, whichever the case may be) kind of in between your fingers, but oh, shit. I’m sorry. That really won’t help against boxing gloves. 😦

Good luck!

The truth about the world’s worst Men’s Rights Activist.




  1. I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women?

    American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least.

    This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women.



    1. Mr. Rambo, on behalf of all American women, I want to thank you for this service to our country. I fully support misogynistic, patriarchal MRAs who want to avoid American women. Please consider expanding this boycott to include women worldwide. Keep up the good work!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent post!
    It’s alleged that this; pathetic excuse for a man has 20,000 followers on Facebook. In fact, a petition has been started to close his site…….The internet is a wonderful tool, but some days, I think it’s given a voice to ‘all’ the ‘Ripley’s Believe-It-Or-Not’ candidates.


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