You ever have those days, where you just want to tell everyone you meet to fuck off? Those days where you hate everyone? Those days where you pen a heartfelt letter to the CIC begging him to push the red button already for all our sakes?
Or maybe you just need to let go and embrace the part of you that knows all this shit is pointless while understanding that sometimes Tuesdays can be cool. Maybe it’s finally time to own the jaded, cynical, side of yourself, the one with the never-ending inner monologue of contemptuous, pessimistic shit spew that you’ve been editing into normal person dialogue and social interactions your entire life.
Or maybe you’re the type of person who needs something. Some sunshine. Some hope. Some ritual. Some habit. Some rainbows. Some sweet candy sprinkles on the hot, steaming life turd that makes you feel like there’s meaning to all of this. There’s not. A turd covered in sprinkles is still a fucking stinky, bacterial festering, turd. And sunshine? Sun doesn’t give a fuck about you. It would incinerate you if given half a chance. But not today because it’s fucking Tuesday.
And Tuesday wants to remind you that good guys don’t always win and clouds don’t have silver linings. There’s no such thing as Karma. Stop saying that shit. It gives dumb asses hope and makes them think there’s some force in the universe that enforces the balance of good and evil and that’s just not fucking true. Today’s a good day. Tomorrow’s going to hurt. Or maybe yesterday was a suck-fest and today is your candy sprinkles day. It doesn’t matter. We’re all gonna die anyway.
But Tuesdays, Tuesdays are yellow.